01/03/2011 (posted 06/03/2011)
We woke at 5am with just enough time for a quick cold shower and some breakfast which consisted of coffee, fruit bread, toast, frosties and a slice of Andy's birthday cake. We then left in the dark to get our first bus of the day to David.
What we were transported in would be best described as a large minibus. I drew the short straw and got a seat with a completely unnecessary lump in the area where leg room should be. This meant that I, a 6"1 guy, spent an hour and a half in the foetal position slowly wasting away the ligaments in my knees. I still somehow managed to get to sleep though so swings and roundabouts.
Boarded another bus in David to Changuinola in the province of Bocas del Toro, our location for the next 6 days. The journey was less than comfortable - the seats are designed for Panamanians (who are on the whole a good deal smaller than Westerners) so I was constantly pressed against the poor little guy next to me.
Things descended into a farce when we picked up loads of schoolchildren who flooded the bus to the point where one girl's arse was pressed against my arm for 20 minutes. To make matters worse it was torrentially raining for almost the entire journey so all new boarders were wet and smelly. I always think wet people smell like green Peperamis.
I read a lot of my Spanish phrasebook on the journey, though skipped certain sections including 'relationships' and 'sex' which included such commonplace and handy phrases as 'easy tiger' and 'it helps to have a sense of humour'.
The journey itself was a windy route deep into the mountains with sharp inclines and copious hairpin bends, which are interesting when you throw torrential rain and an overflowing bus into the equation. The scenery was beautiful but covered in mist for large parts.
Just when I thought the last leg of the journey would be relaxing and comfortable, a woman who I can only describe as incredibly rotund boarded and chose to sit next to me which was nice of her, particulary bearing in mind what I said earlier about the seat sizes.
And when she went, of all people a midget sat next to me - you can't write this stuff.
I felt sick from all the travelling, though it could have been the 5am cake.
But eventually we got there and checked into our four-star luxury hotel.
Or rather a half-finished room above a church containing simply a stack of chairs.
We went to someone's house for lunch - chicken and rice, what else?
We then returned to our room to the news that there was no water, hot or cold.
Felt sticky so fancied a shower, but couldn't.
Thight about washing some clothes, but couldn't.
So we all got out inflatable mattresses our and had a snooze.
We then spent some of the afternoon finishing our sermons as an one of us could be asked to give ours at any time from now on. Mine's about the Parable of the Lost Coin, Luke 15:8-10, and I finally brought it to a close which was a relief.
We then got a fine example of Panamanian timekeeping when we went downstairs for dinner at 5:30.
It arrived at 6:45.
Apparently there was a mix up but it came eventually and was fried patacones and would you believe it, Spam! We had to share five portions between nine of us which wasn't paricularly what I wanted to hear after having waited for over an hour.
The evening service, amid various blackouts due to electricity problems, wasn't too enjoyable. It consisted of a woman at the front singing songs to no accompaniment which the audience knew the words to but we obviously didn't. We waited politely and occasionally clapped along to the beat. Andy then gave his sermon.
Afterwards we went to the supermarket to consolidate our pitiful dinner with biscuits and then retired to our room above the church.
Two of the windows have mosquito traps but one doesn't, which largely defeats the point of the other two in my opinion. The floor is covered in dust/chalk which sticks to any item of clothing or skin that touches it.
As first impressions go the lack of water, electricity, food, punctuality and involvement in the service didn't give Iglesia Nazareno the best one but tomorrow is a new day so I'll approach it with an open mind.
Off to put my mosquito net up.
JG
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