#17 - Homesick

19/02/2011

Had a good nights sleep - almost 8 hours which contained loads of crazy dreams which I now sadly can´t remember. Also, for the second night in a row I woke up around 3 times in the night which was strange.

However despite this, I woke up feeling mentally tired and just unmotivated and wanting to go home.
Though I´m loving what we´re doing, it´s a very daunting prospect and I think a combination of tiredness and nerves got to me.
But I shrugged it off.

The first thing we did was act out a conversation between a Christian and a Muslim using the Qur´an quotes we learned about yesterday to try and make them think about who ´Isa (Jesus) is, as in the Qur´an He is referrer to as Holy, Messiah etc and yet this is never discussed or thought about.
I played a Christian and Andy was Aqbal, a Shi´ite Muslim who made it very difficult for me by stonewalling me and shouting ´Infidel!´.

We then had a break - we had biscuits with this pineapple puree on, it´s really sweet and delicious and goes with pretty much everything.
Unfortunately after the break, my negative feelings from earlier came back strongly to me.
Here are the exac quotes of what I wrote in my notebook:

´´really feel homesick. sick of unfamiliarity, sick of having to learn so much, low on energy, want to go home and rest. 100 days left which seems like forever. sick of not understanding people and feeling like a fish out of water. sick of bugs biting me, sick of not having a proper shower. need some alone time, annoying having almost no time to think for myself and I´m slowly going crazy. Honeymoon period definitely over´´.

Suffice to say a lot of things got on top of me and writing them down was the one way I could think of to vent my built-up frustration.
It´s true that all the above situations/aspects of this trip are indeed annoying - in fact, though the language is perhaps over-emotive the sentiments are more or less still accurate.
But I didn´t come on this trip for a holiday - I came to be tested and to be out of my comfort zone, and that is exactly what is happening.
Even though things aren´t easy, I´m in a really lucky and privileged position to be able to come here and spread the Word of God in this beautiful country with so many brilliant people.

In fact, I feel a lot better just after having written the above sentence.
Doesn´t mean I´m not homesick - I very much am. And it doesn´t mean that there aren´t plenty of things making this trip difficult (add one sunburnt arm to that list), but I need to get over myself and spend my time helping out people who need it rather than moping.

After lunch, had a walk to the Panaderia with Jarett where we both echoed this similar sentiment and it was good just to get it off my chest and move on.
So move on I did, and move on through the day we shall.

The afternoon was our first outreach - we went to the local park where there were a group of kids.
Jarett and Christina were dressed and made-up as mimes so they did their thing while some of the others played volleyball and chatted to some of them.
Jonny and I got a big group of guys together for a football match.

It was good, South Americans play with such flair and panache even at a young age (they were between 12 and 15 I think) and they certainly taught us gringos a lesson.

After many hours doing that, we went to the Panaderia as a group and got some ice cream for the outrageously low price of $0.30c for a scoop in a cone. It was damn good ice cream as well, vanilla with chocolate bits in.

Dinner was another local dish that was sort of beef jerky-esque, and delicious at that.
The food is consistently awesome here, the one negative side to that being that it can only get worse from here onwards.
We can´t really prepare for what the tribes will give us as it will vary greatly but we know two things:
1) they could put together any combination of plantanes, fruits, sweet potatoes, nuts etc. and cook them in the most random of ways which may seem disgusting to us
2) it´s considered extremely rude to leave any food on your plate, so we eat what we´re given and there´s no two ways about it.
Should be both interesting and potentially horrifying.

We then went to Ryan and Kelly´s to watch Chariots of Fire, an odd choice for Americans to show a group including two Englishmen plus another two from the British Isles but there we go.
An outpouring of patriotism ensued which they took gracefully, at least externally.

It´s Jess´s birthday tomorrow so when we got back, us four guys spent an hour decorating the kitchen.
The theme was space-age so as such we covered a chair in foil for her throne, plates and cutlery in foil for her to use, wrapped all her presents (some of which are random objects from around the house, some of which are what we bought her earlier inc. spam, and also a pair of Andy´s girl pants) and made paper chains and stuck balloons everywhere and stuff.
It was a good effort to be fair to us.
It´s also funny how many role-reversals occur in this group - not only did we spend ages decorating a kitchen, but it is consistently us guys who do the washing and drying up and the girls who complain on the very rare occasion they have to.

On that mildly sexist note, I must go to bed - it´s 1am and we have church this morning and before that have to give Jess all her presents (can´t wait to see when she opens the oven glove or the salad server or the clog).

If you are reading this, know that I love and miss you very much.
Until tomorrow, ta ta.

JG